The World Juniors are over, and even though we didn't podium at all in the halfpipe, we still got a report back from Jesse Fulton and his crew down under. Sure, it has little to do with snowboarding, but it's Friday and it's funny, so I say go with it. Read on for the tale of the Dirt Nazi.

From Jesse Fulton and the gang:

This is the last report from Junior Worlds for a few reasons. 1) I dont think that an FIS event has ever gotten this much media coverage before and I don't want to break tradition. They are all about tradition at the FIS. 2) These reports are a community effort and half the community is flying back to Canada tomorrow. 3) The only reason this is getting any play is because there is nothing else really going in snowboarding so, lucky for us, but I don't want to push our luck.




Meanest guy ever, obviously not the employee of the month. Shot with a telephoto lens from about a mile away.

Regardless, let's talk halfpipe and start things off with a nice welcome to Cardrona by the Dirt Nazi. Who is the Dirt Nazi you might ask? I'll tell you who he is: he is an inconsiderate parking attendant that runs around with a ridiculous mustache making everybody's life hell and taking his job way too seriously. In Canada we call them parking attendants, but here I am calling him the gestapo of auto. We arrived to Cardrona a little "en retard" due to the fact that we had to put chains on our tires and were in a bit of a rush. Unfortunately we came head on with our parking lot antagonist, expressing to us in a harsh tone that we could not park in the "Junior World" parking, despite him being fully aware that we were there for the Junior Worlds and did have a van full of athletes. Apparently we were absent one laminated parking pass that I could have replicated with a printer and some saran wrap; I didn't even know we needed one. After a quick haggle and some good old Canadian charm we convinced him to let us go to the on hill registration and acquire one. We were directed to park in the loading zone but apparently they have changed the location of this "zone" since last year and we were in the wrong spot. Even though we were parked in an open spot and the athletes were getting sorted this was a big no no. You'd think that he'd let you know that you misunderstood and direct you to the proper area right? Nope, our "friend" decided to jump into our van and drive off with it and all our gear for the contest. I finally caught up to him, getting his attention by slamming the side of the van . He stopped and asked me what I wanted.  "What do I want?!? You're stealing my van man with all the team's gear in it!" I was somewhat perturbed and doing my best to stay calm but he yelled at me and told me I "didn't fucking listen". I asked him to exit the vehicle and tried to have him come into the registration with me while I got a pass. Apparently this was not an option for him. Finally the high performance director showed up and claimed he had a pass for me. The Dirt Nazi saw the exchange of the pass and was not amused. He checked the other Canadian vehicle and was ecstatic that the director had given me his pass, and it was only one pass per car. I pleaded with him, in my tell-tale Canadian team gear, to just let me park the van but he refused. In the end he won, but I got a good picture of him to let the world know: BEWARE!

Nova Scotia's Jeremy Page tweaking one.

Derek Livingstone, front 9.

Palmer Taylor.



The rest of the contest was great,  everyone went huge and we had a couple athletes in the finals. No podiums but a good showing overall despite the distraction of the fascist parking regime. Cardrona has created a great pipe and by far the best one in the south. Cut by Johnny Melville  (Olympic halfpipe cutter) with the best shaping machine in the world that, ironically, Johnny invented (the Global Cutter). It is a laser-guided system with heated paddles for a nice finish; I am a big fan of it and the great shape it produces.



The days were sunny and the times were fun. Cardrona is a great place to ride and everyone is really nice there with the exception of you-know-who. 

Palmer Taylor ended up with a 5th place finish, Derek Livingston and Erin Lee of Banff both ended with a 9th, and Trevor Niblet, with his busted face, made a valiant effort but a lack of depth perception inhibited him from riding to his usual ability.

Jesse and Palmer going over the run. The suits are a really bad coincidence and not a team uniform.

The rest of the week looks like rain so were off to Australia to the beach for some sun, surf and meetings for Nickelodeon's Shreducation season 3.



Until next time,

J and the gang

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