Mention Mike Tyson, ODB, and Death Metal Babies in the same sentence and it sounds like the intro to a terrible joke, not the inspiration for a terribly awesome DIY skateboard company. Based on planet earth - Toronto to be exact - Panther Starship is either taking the skateboard industry by storm or causing a shit storm, depending on who is asked and how high their wizard stick is at the time of questioning.

Born over beers and stupid Internet videos, Panther Starship is the brand you always wanted to start when you were still able to dream. Go to their parties, buy their boards, beg your local shops to carry the product, do all this because supporting brands like Panther Starship is supporting skateboarding - true Canadian skateboarding.

If ‘let's get weird' or ‘YouTube it' were traditional business models, Panther Starship would be the professor. There's no point in asking these vagrants normal questions, as the answers still won't make sense. With that said, let's get straight into the beauty pageant round. Most of these questions were taken directly from the mind busting Q&A portion of Official Beauty Pageant's Worldwide. We spared the crew (read: you) from the bikini portion of the event.

Panther Starship put the Vaseline on their fake smiles and muscled through. Enjoy.

Company: Panther Starship skateboards, serious fucking business
Est.: October 30th 2008 but we've been a fake 80's band since 2005
Who is it: Garrett Gardiner, Nick Genova, Calum Murray-Lawson, Al Murray-Lawson, Pat Maloney, Wojtek Zawada, and more to come
Influences: good times, pals, alcohol, BBQing, chicken wings, YouTube, and Fubar
Movie that best represents PS: The Mighty Ducks 2, and we're the evil team from Iceland
Soundtrack: a mix tape of NWA, Tempa T, Guns ‘n' Roses, Slayer, and Lady Gaga
Where can it be bought: The Baitshop or 592 and soon to be Flatspot, Antigravity, and Blue Tile Lounge.
Website: http://pantherstarship.com/

Which city do you belong to? Name one problem in your city and try and to solve it?
Pat: Narnia and the biggest problem is instead of skate stoppers we have lions that can speak English and fly. I can't really solve that problem.

Calum: I'm from Angoon, Alaska and the problem is there's not enough Autotune, but the solution is eagles and ravens. YouTube it.

Tell us about your family brand's background?
Taking ourselves super seriously, hammers, flip-ins and outs, ledge dancing. Basically we just wanted to do our own thing and blow a lot of money and time.

If you could put three people on Panther that have nothing to do with skating, who would they be and why?
The mythical Florida swamp beast from Monsterquest because Calum has some bizarre fascination with it. The Situation, so we get the party demographic going on. And Shaq because he's got a mean switch tre and bertleman slid El Toro second try, no warms.

If there is one thing you could do to change the world skateboarding what would it be?
Bring back Osiris D3s.That and make it legal to beat kids that throw their boards around and scream when they can't land a trick first try.

Wojtek Zawada, 3 shuv. Comber sequence.

What is your take on premarital sex?
We'll answer that when someone finally wants to have sex with us. Hookers are too expensive and so are roofies.

Panther Starship has been known to throw a party or ten. Do you still frequent 751?
592 is the new 751. We have so many board games you don't even know.

What's the difference between getting buck and getting loose?
Getting buck is being the fun drunk guy who doesn't know if he's drunk enough so he calls all his ex-girlfriends and asks their opinion. Getting loose is the annoying drunk guy who can't handle their alcohol and should go in a box and feel shame. Could be completely wrong on this one.

If you came home to a house full of skateboarders and barely of age women, how would you handle the situation?
The Situation's there? Fuck. If he's there then it's already handled. Barely of age? Too Young is just a name in China.

If you had to choose to be beautiful or intelligent, which would you choose?
We already tried to be smart, but it didn't work out so now we're relying on our looks.

A yacht, strippers, and a jet pack, what would you do?
Picture Home Alone, but on a yacht and the strippers are McCauley Culkin and we're the bad guys, but we can fly around.

Do you find it easy or difficult to say "no?"
No... wait what?

Panther Starship is sitting at a dinner table with Mike Tyson and Gary Busey. What is the topic of conversation?
We can't talk over how loud Bill Murray is singing karaoke and too distracted by naked Katy Perry serving us drinks to have a conversation, but probably something about aliens or cyborgs.

How will pageant competition the Slap/Skaters Inc. message boards help you develop as a person brand?
By getting our graphics ripped off by huge corporations and spending our time looking at funny pictures of cats when we should be trying to sell boards.

Is more Panther blog time dedicated to stupid videos of dogs or cats?
It's basically dedicated to stupidity in general, but more cats for sure. There are some stupid dog videos, but then you see clips of them going into the fridge and fetching their owner a beer, which makes them win instantly.

What do you feel you can work on with regard to your body brand?
We want to put out a line of BBQ tongs and aprons, rape whistles which you blow whenever someone tries to steal your board or do an ABD at your spot, and we're in the works on a slip'n'slide.

Do you have a boyfriend girlfriend (or boyfriend)? Is she OK with the idea of you taking part in this pageant  the skateboard industry?
Calum: My man doesn't know I skate, can I go under a different name?

Pat: My girlfriend says it's fine for me to ditch our plans to go skate, which is pretty cool until she shows up later on at my house wasted and beats me up.

Due to the crew not being able to decide upon one the ‘current best YouTube clip of all time' you will just have to go to their website for a daily sampling of some of the Internet's finest.